Spicy Boiled Fish Potato Chips

When I procured this snack, I really hoped that it would taste like spicy fish soup, because I really like spicy fish soup.

Regrettably, it just tasted like a regular old barbecue potato chip.

Incongruous Propaganda

Remind you of posters from somewhere else in another time?

Master of Puppets

As fate would have it, Lord Ordos was walking down the hallway on the way back to his dormitory, and I heard an electric guitar being played...badly, from the room labelled "Room for Studying Independently" in English. I walk in. One of my students is playing an absolutely awful electric guitar that he bought on the Internet. Anyway, he had a really good effects pedal and a decent amp. So I played the Master of Puppets riff. His face melted. Like mine did. When I heard it in....1988....at the impressionable age of 13. I had saved up for the vinyl LP with my paper route money. What was striking to me was the sheer wonderment this kid displayed.

He'd never heard of Metallica. Or Judas Priest. Or Black Sabbath. Or Led Zeppelin. I played these bands in that order. He'd never heard any of it. 

He recorded it on his cell phone, put it on the Interent (I have no idea where), and told all his friends. 

This music is really big news here. They have no idea. Metal has come to Ordos. 

To hear Metallica at the absolute peak of their most alcohol/cocaine wrecked best playing Master of Puppets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEL6_SuQCu8

1989 folks. Remember: drugs are bad.

Ghost Park

As many of you already know, Ordos has a new district, and an old district. The new district is called Kangbashi, the now world-famous "Ghost City" documented by the BBC, Al Jazeera, and numerous bloggers. The ghost city is sparsely inhabited, despite being heavily built up with luxury housing, ultra-modern architecture, and world class (FREE, yes, FREE) public transit. What is unknown to the outside world, is the fact that the old district is full of incomplete building projects which must be worth billions. They are literally everywhere. I have become completely desensitized to the presence of incomplete high-rises. I did, however, discover one of Ordos' quirkier incomplete projects, which came in the form of a public park; if you will, a Ghost Park, which I, Lord Ordos, now present to you.

It is standard practice in both China and Korea to have large rocks at the entrance to noteworthy places. Normally, however, the rock will be inscribed with pleasing calligraphy. They never got around to the calligraphy, so it's just a huge rock at the entrance, which faces a mostly unused road. Note the rows of trees planted as part of the government's effort to fight desertification. 

This is a small plaza surrounding the rock. Note the total absence of, well, anyone.

They went through the considerable trouble of building an artificial stream through this park, only to let it become grown in with bull rush and weeds.

This is the stairwell leading down to the park. You can't see it in the picture, but it's actually crumbling. The entire row of apartment blocks in the background are completely uninhabited. If you look closely, you'll see four in the background that are just concrete and re-bar.

This is one of several tennis courts they built. They've gone unused for so long the doors are falling off their hinges. There's no net. It's closed with a chain. I think it's safe to say that it's never been used.

This is a statue of...something. The red paint is peeling off, and the faux-marble siding on the base is crumbling off.

A sewer lid, encased in a plastic tree stump. I guess it didn't occur to the designer that elevating a sewer lid on a plastic tree stump makes the sewer lid more obvious, and not less so. 

This was at the other end of the park. It's a pile of artificial rocks in the middle of the artificial stream. There were a lot of birds perched on it before I approached in a not-so-stealthy fashion. I guess I'll never work for National Geographic. Note that there are more unfinished apartment complexes in the background.

Now for the piece d'resistance. A giant plastic tree stump, which was intended to be a small fuse room, judging by all the cables that are sticking out its floor. The apartment complexes in the background are also uninhabited, but at least they got a nice coat of paint.

How to Get Drunk...Commie Style

One of the many ironies here is how the Communist aesthetic lives on amid unabashed capitalism. Red Star bai jiu is a fine example of this phenomenon. I procured this 250 ml bottle of Red Star to experiment with my hosts' preferred beverage. I was pleasantly surprised. It's a strong spirit, coming in at 43% alcohol by volume, but it actually tastes good, and does not cause a nasty aftertaste as many of the lesser bai jiu brands do. This small bottle cost me $3.00, which is rather expensive by Chinese standards, but I suppose only a fine spirit is worthy of the red star.

Neo-Stalinist Architecture

These pictures are of a monument and a bust at the front of my place of employment. When I first saw them, I assumed that the monument, bust, and the surrounding structures were built during the pre-reform era of 1949-1979, given their decidedly Soviet aesthetic. I was informed that it was all built in 2004. Initially, I thought the bust was of Karl Marx. I was told by a colleague that it is Dostoevsky. There are other busts in this rather wide plaza of various Russian luminaries, one of Ludwig Van Beethoven, and various Chinese revolutionaries. Mao is conspicuously absent. Architecturally, Stalinism is alive and well.

Welcome to the World of Ordos. This is where I will share my adventures in the World of Ordos. I am Lord Ordos, and I will be your guide.

The label says that, "This World Belongs to the Energetic". It's much less specific about the role of the hungover. This fine bit of Chinese liquor is called jing jiu. It is a derivative of the infamous Chinese liquor known as bai jiu, literally "white alcohol". I procured a large bottle of jing jiu for 44 RMB, or $6.98.